Our finest Sunday-best crockery that our mums only used on special occasions was made of porcelain and porcelain was invented in China, thus the name. It makes me wonder if turkeys were first made in Turkey and, if that being the case, why don’t swede vegetables have blonde hair instead of being boring balls that resemble old, bald men with beer guts? When I see swedes in supermarkets I don’t know whether to put one in my trolley or sing it an ABBA song to make it feel homesick.
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